The Freelancer

Hi there Sweets and Happy Thursday! There is something that I have been struggling with, and keep going back and fourth about, but I finally came to a decision. It's now, or never, and it's time to follow my dreams. I CAN do this :-)

It's hard for me to be open and to really express my feelings. I try to keep them bottled up. Keep the exterior calm, collected, and together. I don't like to express my goals out loud either. I'm always afraid. What if I fail!? Then I look like a fool. And since I said it out-loud everyone will know and think I'm a fool too!

I know people always say that the worst that happens is you don't succeed and you just pick right up and start on something new. And that you never know unless you try. I acknowledge that they are right, but I also feel like my art is an expression of me. So it will be a really hard blow if I fail.

While studying art at school I painted scenes and landscapes. I've never showed the figures and characters, that you've seen me do, they were what I truly wanted to do and I was terrified to show people. What if they hated them, what if my bubble burst, who would I be then? And so I painted and did work that I didn't really love just to get through it. And I kept the style I really wanted to do hidden. I saved them for doodles and sketchbooks.To be loved and unjudged by me and only me.

But with all of that being said so many things seemed to line up over these last few months/almost a year. Signs to tell me just jump, do it, you can do it! Even matchbook magazine had an article this month titled "Now or Never." Maybe it's because I wanted to see them as signs or I was even looking for them, but either way, I'm ready!

It means so much to me, the positive feedback and support from my family, friends, followers, clients, and readers! It's been an incredible journey over the months since I started this blog. And yet, I'm still terrified and cautious. But it's time to take the leap where I put all my faith in myself and my work and just jump into it full-time. To be a freelance artist.

What do you think? Can you relate? Do you have any advice?